EXHALE

The normal process of breathing is as follows;
inhale. exhale. simple.
I feel as though I'm just not exhaling.
I'm taking it all in. sucking it in so deep. recognizing and organizing each molecule of air that passes through my nose, down my trachea, and into my lungs.
There it stays.
As though I'm anylizing the actual breath.
From start to finish.
Compiling a mental log of everything that breath did for my body.
Of course I did not take this life sustaining breath by accident. I let it in.
Now to just exhale. let it go. be done with that breath.
Out with the old. In with the new.
Recover from the process of exhaling.
Fresh oxygen for my brain to function with.

Sometimes it's just not that easy to let go of something you decidedly let in.
Unlike breathing, we take in 'life', and dont always have the choice of 'exhaling' and being done.
Unable to let life come and go like the sunrise and sunset.
Sometimes an event happens, and we get stuck.
There is no quick way out. There is not a possibility for us to be finished with something we may not have control over.
Sometimes we are so torn by life that we have no choice but to stop and restitch.
Cut away around the tear, and sew in a fresh patch.
That's the thing about patching up a tear. It's never the same as it was before.
You cut around the initial rip, and sew the new fabric on around the wrecked fabric.
It is always a patch. The original fabric isn't there anymore. And it takes a lot of work to look, and feel right again.
It's different.
I'm different.
But, I'm breathing.